Caucasian Celebration: A Pictoral History of NBA White Guys

Marty Conlon

Marty's Resume

Marty Conlon shot 687 free throws in his sallow nine year career, each one of which caused every black guy in the area to laugh and shake their heads. Remember that time when you were 11 and shooting around alone in your yard and your Mom came out to play with you because she thought you were lonely and didn't want you to grow up to be a serial killer? Remember how she shot free throws? She got her form from watching Marty Conlon.

As if to seal his position in Caucasian Celebration, Marty was named captain of the Irish National Team after his NBA career ended, where his free throws were mocked considerably less frequently.