Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Once There Was a Girl on Rocky Top, Half Bear the Other Half Cat




Go Bruce, win that game!
Jump to cheer? I can't. Penis
Peeks from 'neath orange skirt.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Gordon Shumway: An Unauthorized Biography




Samson's fabled strength,
Untested through sands of time?
Three rise to challenge.

Muscled strongmen ride
Smell of musk, sinewy arms
Their strength conquers all

100 Million Dollars for the Japanese Louie Anderson is a steal


World Series Success
Equal parts pitching, hitting,
Fatso Chinamen

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Ravishing Rick Rankings : 50 Most Ravishing Rick Basketball Players (John Amechi not included)




Break from form for a second here. We got this idea from FreeDarko. Basically its a list of the 50 most RavishingRick players playing right now.

A little insight into the selection process


1
Artest, Ron Sacramento Kings
2
James, LeBron Cleveland Cavaliers
3
Arenas, Gilbert Washington Wizards
4
Bryant, Kobe Los Angeles Lakers
5
Biedrins, Andris Golden State Warriors
6
Iverson, Allen Denver Nuggets
7
Randolph, Zach Portland Trail Blazers
8
Jackson, Stephen Golden State Warriors
9
Ming, Yao Houston Rockets
10
Anthony, Carmelo Denver Nuggets
11
Nash, Steve Phoenix Suns
12
Wade, Dwyane Miami Heat
13
Smith, J.R. Denver Nuggets
14
Balkman, Renaldo New York Knicks
15
Durant, Kevin
16
Garnett, Kevin Minnesota Timberwolves
17
Bosh, Chris Toronto Raptors
18
Oden, Greg
19
Wells, Bonzi Houston Rockets
20
Wallace, Rasheed Detroit Pistons
21
Nowitzki, Dirk Dallas Mavericks
22
Carter, Vince New Jersey Nets
23
Boykins, Earl Milwaukee Bucks
24
McGrady, Tracy Houston Rockets
25
Smith, Josh Atlanta Hawks
26
Paul, Chris NO/Oklahoma City Hornets
27
Abdur-Rahim, Shareef Sacramento Kings
28
Odom, Lamar Los Angeles Lakers
29
Villanueva, Charlie Milwaukee Bucks
30
Howard, Dwight Orlando Magic
31
Daniels, Marquis Indiana Pacers
32
Davis, Baron Golden State Warriors
33
Butler, Caron Washington Wizards
34
Lee, David New York Knicks
35
Johnson, Joe Atlanta Hawks
36
Miller, Mike Memphis Grizzlies
37
Redd, Michael Milwaukee Bucks
38
Robinson, Nate New York Knicks
39
Ellis, Monta Golden State Warriors
40
O'Neal, Jermaine Indiana Pacers
41
Okur, Mehmet Utah Jazz
42
Curry, Eddy New York Knicks
43
Milicic, Darko Orlando Magic
44
Telfair, Sebastian Boston Celtics
45
Kapono, Jason Miami Heat
46
Griffin, Eddie Minnesota Timberwolves
47
Alston, Rafer Houston Rockets
48
Radmanovic, Vladimir Los Angeles Lakers
49
Davis, Ricky Minnesota Timberwolves
50
Haslem, Udonis Miami Heat

Court TV: More Breaking FUPA News



Chaz Weis is Fat and Salty

If it please the court:
Ten pounds of shit. Five pound bag.
Coach Weis is guilty.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Ralph Fiennes Fan Club and the Mile High Club are One and the Same



Sleeping with Ralph Fiennes at 37,000 feet can do wonders for your career.

A little girl's dream:
Stewardess blouse covered in
Constant Garnder's seed.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Breaking FUPA News: Out with the old, in with the new

Wade Phillips looks on dissaprovingly at what we can only assume is his daughter engaging in sexual acts with multiple San Diego Chargers.

Goal as coach: Play D,
Run Ball, Stop daughter from TO
Romo Gangbanging

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Ravishing Rick Fan Appreciation Day

We wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of our fans who have taken the time to post feedback in our comments section. Your comments are extremely valuable and truly make posting on these here tubes of internets and ebays worthwhile. We are eternally grateful for your continued support.

The following comments were left on 2/4.

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Your true devotion
And kind words are uplifting.
Thank you, my good friends.

In life, it's wise. To
Allign oneself with allies.
For mine I say thanks.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Bill Walton's Mind: Excuse Our Mess





Let your conscience be free

Sing. Whisper. Lyrics.
Segues like a cement wall
Best podcast on Earth

Is it Wet Out There, or is it Just Your Mom?




Halftime of Big Game.
Prince just made your Mom's pants moist.
And your Dad? Boner.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Ancient Conflicts Remembered



With Oscars Season upon us, and to honor Sir Clint Eastwood's efforts in the 2006 movies "Flags of Our Fathers" and "Letters from Iwo Jima", we tell the story of the above Ancient Chinese Legend from the perspective of both sides. We hope that you, like us, will forever appreciate this ancient conflict in a new light.


Chick in the Blue

Silent Shadows Slink
A rap at the door. Oh No!
Raiden needs a snack

Pensive Ice Warrior
Protect rations fervently.
Too late. Raiden snacks.


Raiden

Barren stomach guides.
Look at that ho's Frigidaire.
Her snacks will be mine.

Hungry Warrior.
A Distraction I seek.
Knock Knock!! I eat.

Acting! Genuis. Thank You!



Order Yours Today, Harry Potter fans

Ride Nude, Boy Wizard!
Barbaro's strength rubs your balls.
Actors are so gay